learning

"It's okay. Learning is a good process. Take your time" -FYP Supervisor

Sometimes you have to face some difficulties in order to learn new thing. Sometimes you have to go through rough time to finally see the good in something. Sometimes you have to feel weak in order to build yourself a stronger woman. Sometimes you really need to start doing to see the outcome. You have to always think that there are other people facing a lot (and difficult) more problems than yours.

You have to help yourself, to be strong and finish this thing.

the struggle

No, this is not about me trying to move on again. 

"You are already the 7th of 8 engineer as you are in your final semester now. We need to equip you with a good presentation skill. The struggle is so real, huh?" -Lecturer, 2015.

Nah, presentation (or talking in front of crowds) isn't really my thing. Tapiiiiiii, no matter how I wanted to avoid it, to finish this engineering thing I will have do this thing (at least for my FYP). Ha ha. 

The struggle is real huh? I only have 10 credit hours of subjects this semester (plus FYP and lab), but the projects and workloads are piling up macam tak ada hari esok. Dah kalau semalam pun aku tak reti nak gunakan masa sebaiknya, janganlah complain kerja banyak ke apa *cough*.

Semoga zuhaida berjaya menghabiskan this last semester dengan jayanya dan grad dengan gaya. Ha ha. Kata nak bergambar convocation rare dan viral? Ehhh? 

to be (act) strong

No matter how many times I told myself to be strong, I always end up in tears. A few months have passed, I am still crying myself to sleep. Yeah, I know. It shouldn't even be a big problem because I have something more important to be taken care of/need more attention instead of this. I suddenly cried so bad last few days when I was already fine (I guess) last few weeks. Thanks to an Indonesian movie I watched late at night before sleep. It was very sudden tears when I have been trying so hard to control them from coming out, ha ha. So I guess I am not fully moved on just yet, huh? 

stereotype

Siapa dekat sini yang jenis susah nak terima satu benda baru kalau dah suka dekat something? Ye, aku lah tu. 

Contoh macam makanan, atau pakaian. Kalau aku dah suka satu perisa/jenis/jenama tu, aku jarang nak switch kepada yang lain. Kecuali kalau masa nak beli, yang aku suka itu tiada (atau sold out) atau whatever the reason is. Aku selalu aja berfikir-fikir nak tukar pilihan aku, sampai 40 kali fikir masa sebelum sampai kaunter. At last aku pilih yang selalu aku order itu juga. Sigh, I know. Itulah dilema seorang zuhaida yang tipikal.

Kenapa macamtu? Aku pun taktahu sebabnya. Mungkin takut yang baru itu tidak sama dengan yang lama? Memanglah tidak akan sama, kalau mocha dengan green tea memang selamanya tidak akan sama kan. Ha ha. 

Kalau circle kawan-kawan pun sama. Aku jarang nak expand my friendship circle. Selalunya akan berkisar sekitar orang-orang yang sama. Mungkin sebab itu aku ini tak ada kawan yang ramai? Mungkin takmahu letak high expectation?

Kalau class project yang perlukan group work, aku takut betul kalau lecturer yang form the group without giving us the chance to choose the members. Nanti dapat group mates yang tak boleh kerjasama, susahlah kan? (Eleh padahal takut takdapat sama group dengan member).

I always said to myself "I got to expand my circle, a lot are yet to be discovered" but here I am. Kalau circle berkembang, maka kita juga akan gain a lot of new experiences kan? Barulah ada banyak benda berfaedah yang boleh dikongsi bukan? Ya benar sekali. 

p/s: We heard a lot had happened around the world recently. Don't stop praying because that is the strongest weapon we have :)

doing fine

This Isabella by Amy Search & Joe Flizzow song has been on repeat since 12.30 am, when I should be studying because I got midterm examination and quiz coming up next monday and wednesday. Gosh, I know.

I am doing fine I guess. 

Someone (my best guy friend) asked me "luka haritu dah baik betul-betul ke belum" made me think like thousand time "which luka was he talking about". I even scrolled our whatsapp conversation to see if I ever told him about any. But then I realized that he was asking about 'that luka'. Nampak macam dah move on kan sebab sampai dah lupa luka mana satu sampaikan teringat "did he actually mean any physical wound" sebab I told almost everything. Dari benda pasal belajar, vacation, family, friends to any random thing, and he does the same. Tapi sebenarnya aku belum move on sepenuhnya. Entahla kenapa susah sangat, selalu rasa ada something yang belum kesampaian which I don't know what the hell is that. 

Bammm! 

Family and friends have been really helpful. Thank you for that. 

Oh, and I am officially 23 on 18th October. I wish for nothing but to finish this degree on time so that I can hand the scroll over to my parents, to be an engineer and to be a good daughter. Amin.